The other day I began my story about what I was doing 10 Years ago today (2/11/01)...here is another chapter in that story!?!
How did I end up in a Rehab Facility all the way in Miami Shores, FL...that was a question I was often asked by people who knew after everything was done...the answer I gave them was - addiction doesn't care whom it controls...
it just takes hold of you until you no longer even know yourself!?!
Looking at me you wouldn't think I was your typical addict - you look at my home life
-&-
you'd be shocked to see where I came from
-but-
like the saying always goes looks can be deceiving!?!
And, now looking back I see where my addiction was set into a spiraling out of control by a bunch of personal losses in my life...
things I thought I couldn't handle on my own!?!
So instead of reaching down -&- finding my inner strength I instead turned to alcohol
-&-
drugs...
alcohol being my drug of choice for the most part!?!
My addiction to drinking didn't really begin till I was in my early 20's!?!
At that time I'd only drink on the weekends when I went out with friends...that is what I considered to be "social drinking'!?!
Then when I was 22 -&- living with a friend (who will be referred to as C) - I was working 2nd shift -&- would usually stop -&- grab a beer or two to have when I got home from work - this I considered "earned drinking"!?!
I worked hard all day so this what a treat!?!
By this time I was basically drinking every day of the week
-but-
for the most part I had it under control!?!
At that time I was what they called a "functioning drunk"!?!
This was the same pattern that I followed until is was about 25...although I wasn't living with C - we were having problems -&- ended our relationship!?!
That really tore me apart even more than I was aware!?!
I turned to drinking on my lunch break at work to ease even more of my pain!?!
I also turned to some other very scary behavior!?!
Also, that year there we A LOT of family issues with my parents -&- things I never thought I'd personally have to deal with!?!
And, I suffered the loss of a good friend!?!
None of these were reasons to drink -but- they were my reasons!?!
Then in January of 2001...I found myself at a place in my life I had never been before...I was drinking to sleep - doing other drugs to stay awake -&- then other drugs to even me out...it wasn't a good life -but- at the time I didn't feel any of it!?!
Then came that pivotal moment when I knew my lifestyle was interfering with work - they came to me -&- basically told me I had one more chance to get myself together or I was going to lose my job!?!
So that night after getting plastered yet again...I called a really good friend
-&-
asked them to come over to my apartment!?!
She did -&- had her newborn with her -
we sat on the floor -
talked -&- cried - it was then I made the call to enter Rehab!?!
Today I am thankful for the friend that came to me that night
I ♥ you Cyn!?!
How did I end up in a Rehab Facility all the way in Miami Shores, FL...that was a question I was often asked by people who knew after everything was done...the answer I gave them was - addiction doesn't care whom it controls...
it just takes hold of you until you no longer even know yourself!?!
Looking at me you wouldn't think I was your typical addict - you look at my home life
-&-
you'd be shocked to see where I came from
-but-
like the saying always goes looks can be deceiving!?!
And, now looking back I see where my addiction was set into a spiraling out of control by a bunch of personal losses in my life...
things I thought I couldn't handle on my own!?!
So instead of reaching down -&- finding my inner strength I instead turned to alcohol
-&-
drugs...
alcohol being my drug of choice for the most part!?!
My addiction to drinking didn't really begin till I was in my early 20's!?!
At that time I'd only drink on the weekends when I went out with friends...that is what I considered to be "social drinking'!?!
Then when I was 22 -&- living with a friend (who will be referred to as C) - I was working 2nd shift -&- would usually stop -&- grab a beer or two to have when I got home from work - this I considered "earned drinking"!?!
I worked hard all day so this what a treat!?!
By this time I was basically drinking every day of the week
-but-
for the most part I had it under control!?!
At that time I was what they called a "functioning drunk"!?!
This was the same pattern that I followed until is was about 25...although I wasn't living with C - we were having problems -&- ended our relationship!?!
That really tore me apart even more than I was aware!?!
I turned to drinking on my lunch break at work to ease even more of my pain!?!
I also turned to some other very scary behavior!?!
Also, that year there we A LOT of family issues with my parents -&- things I never thought I'd personally have to deal with!?!
And, I suffered the loss of a good friend!?!
None of these were reasons to drink -but- they were my reasons!?!
Then in January of 2001...I found myself at a place in my life I had never been before...I was drinking to sleep - doing other drugs to stay awake -&- then other drugs to even me out...it wasn't a good life -but- at the time I didn't feel any of it!?!
Then came that pivotal moment when I knew my lifestyle was interfering with work - they came to me -&- basically told me I had one more chance to get myself together or I was going to lose my job!?!
So that night after getting plastered yet again...I called a really good friend
-&-
asked them to come over to my apartment!?!
She did -&- had her newborn with her -
we sat on the floor -
talked -&- cried - it was then I made the call to enter Rehab!?!
Today I am thankful for the friend that came to me that nightI ♥ you Cyn!?!
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