Monday, February 28, 2011

Suicide!?!

I know what you are thinking that is a damn eerie topic to blog about -&- you are right it is...but...I got a message from a very close friend of mine, Patrick, this afternoon telling me that his nephew "decided to check out last night"

It really started me thinking about this subject...
the first question is always...why?!?!

Did they feel they were a bad pers
on, or crazy, or weak, or flawed -&- therefore became suicidal?!? And, even if you are all of these things it doesn’t even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now!?!
If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing!?!
Willpower has nothin
g to do with it!?!
It is a state of mind -&- being!?!
I guess some people often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain!?!
Remember that relief is a feeling!?!
And you have to b
e alive to feel it!?!
You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead!?!
Honestly, there have been a few times in my life when I, myself thought about doing just this same thing...I even tried it I guess you can say with some over the counter sleeping pills...but they obviously did not work
-&-
I thank God everyday because there is obviously a reason that I am still here
!?!
And, also in my opinion (and this is just my opinion) the Church holds that the deliberate taking of one's life as an act of despair is a mortal sin
-&-
therefore puts the soul int
o great peril, i.e. damnation!?!

This alone for those of us whom are believers should rethink this...is eternal damnation worth it?!?!
NO!?!
Believe me it is not
the answer!?!
But I am sure that my friend Patrick -&- his family have been
immersed in grieving!?!
The shocking events that brought about their family members death still have the power to shock!?! I am sure the big question foremost in most people’s minds seems to be why God would allow this tragedy to come into their lives on top of the other trials and losses they have experienced!?!
But this what not something that God let happen it was something that done by a mortal man! All this being said
...I wish only the best for Patrick & his family during this troubling time...&...in closing here are a few words I hope will add some comfort...

You can shed tears that he is gone...
Or you can smile because he lived!?!
You can close your eyes -&- pra
y that he will come back...
Or you can open your eyes -&- see all that he has left!?!
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him...
Or you can be full of the love that you shared!?!
You can turn your back on tomorrow -&- live in yesterday...
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday!?!
You can remember him -&- only that he is gone...
Or you can cherish his memory -&- let it live on!?!
You can cry -&- close your min
d be empty -&- turn your back...

Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love -&- go on!?!

R.I.P Nick...much peace on your journey!?!

Today I am thankful for God's saving grace!?!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Merideth's Letter!?!

Here is something I came across today
-&-
it was just to good not to share!?!

Our 14-year-old dog Abbey died last month!?!
The day after she passed away my 4-year-old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey!?!
She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her!?!
I told her that I thought we could so, and she dictated these words:

Dear God,
Will you please take care of my dog!?!
She died yesterday -&- is with you in heaven.!?!
I miss her very much!?!
I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick!?!
I hope you will play with her!?! She likes to swim -&- play with balls!?!
I am sending a picture of her so when you see her you will know that she is my dog!?!
I really miss her!?!
Love, Meredith

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey -&- Meredith -&- addressed it to God!?!
That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office!?! A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had!?!

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, 'To Meredith' in an unfamiliar hand.!?! Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, 'When a Pet Dies.' Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope!?! On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey -&- Meredith -&- this note:

Dear Meredith,

Abbey arrived safely in heaven!?!
Having the picture was a big help -&- I recognized her right away!?!
Abbey isn't sick anymore!?!
Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart!?!
Abbey loved being your dog!?!
Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep -&- have something to remember Abbey by!?!

Thank you for the beautiful letter -&- thank your mother for helping you write it -&- sending it to me!?!
What a wonderful mother you have!?!
I picked her especially for you!?!
I send my blessings every day -&- remember that I love you very much!?!
By the way, I'm easy to find!?! I am wherever there is love!?!

Love,
God



Today I am thankful for heart warming stories like the previous one that make us remember how pure the heart of a child really is!?!

Saturday, February 26, 2011

POGO



Alright I know addiction is a "bad" thing but when it comes to games...I am totally addicted to POGO...the greatest thing about this website it that it is fun for ALL ages...&...offers a large variety games...POGO.com is a very popular gaming website that offers a variety of free casual games, from card and board games to puzzle, sports, and word games (such as SCRABBLE)!?!

The website is free, due to advertising sponsorships!?!
Players can also sign up for Club Pogo, a
subscription service that includes premium benefits and does not include advertisements!?!
Upon starting an account on POGO you get an avatar -&- as you obtain tokens by playing the various games you can due some ultra amazing things with them!?!
You can also if chose add a profile along with your avatar to let people know what you are all about!?!
All of the games on POGO also offer an chat a
rea that allows to you to talk to other players online! If you are looking to relax -&- want a great place to go & do it online I highly recommend POGO!?!
Also, if you choose to try POGO & want to see what the premium membership is like just drop me a message & I will hook you up with a free 1 week trial membership so you can test those waters! In case you are interested...I
am Chodarling on POGO...if you get on there...look me up!?!

Visit Pogo now by clicking here!?!


Today I am thankful for online entertainment - that gives me something to do when my husband has a long day of driving!?!

Friday, February 25, 2011

Rednecks!?!

myspace comments

We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years!?!












You might be a redneck if:
You respect your elders
&
raised your kids to do the same.


You might be a redneck if:
You'd give your last dollar to a friend in need.


If you are redneck be proud of who you are
-&-
know this if we had a whole country of rednecks it would be a damn better place to live!?!



Today I am thankful for all the REDNECKS in my life!?!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Fried Pickles!?!

FRIED PICKLES

When I first saw Fried Pickles on the menu of BW3's (Buffalo Wild Wings)!?! I thought they sounded disgusting!?! But curiosity got the best me -&- I later finally decided to just try them -&- WOW, was I glad we did!?!

They are the most unusual things, but surprisingly very tasty!?! They are a bit addictive too.. we'd find ourselves talking about going to BW3's just to get the pickles!?!
So I figured out a recipe so I could make them at home...of course, they are not as good as what I got from the restaurant but sadly they stopped serving them awhile ago but that did not stop my hankering
for them!?!

Here is my version of the recipe!?!

Enjoy
Ingredients:
1 pint sliced dill pickles, undrained
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour, plus 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon hot sauce
1 1/2 to 2 teaspoons ground red pepper
1 teaspoon garlic powder 1/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon paprika Vegetable oil
Directions:
Drain pickles, reserving 2/3-cup pickle juice.
Press pickles between paper towels.
Combine 2/3 cup pickle juice, egg, 1 tablespoon flour, and hot sauce.
Stir well and set aside.
Combine 1 1/2 cups flour with ground red pepper, garlic powder, salt, and paprika.
Blend well.
Dip pickles in egg mixture, then dredge in flour mixture.
Fry coated pickles in 375-degree oil until golden brown.
Drain on paper towels.
For dipping you can use anything that suits your fancy...but...a few of my favorite recommendations are Ranch, Honey Mustard or every Horsey Sauce...
to each there own I guess!


Today I am thankful for all the variety that life has to offer!?!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

10 Years Ago...Part III

Here is a continuation to my story 10 Years Ago Part l -&- Part ll !?! To read the earlier parts of the story please click on highlight sections above!?!

So, by now I had been in rehab 11 days...let me tell you what the first few day were like...

The rehab the my employer sent me to was more of a country club than a rehab - we we set up in apartments with a roommate!?!
We had all our meals prepared for us or we were taken out to eat - we had maid service to clean up after us -&- we were basically treated like royalty!?!Align Center
For the first few days after you arrive you are put in isolation -&- for the initial few days you are not allowed to interact with the fellow guest...so you are placed in a moderately sized room - with all the necessary furnishings - brought 3 meals a day -&- checked upon randomly by the staff!?!

The worst part of the first few days was detox!?!
Detox: is where you you basically give up everything you have been taking - cold turkey -&- your body revolts against you!?!
It is a hard as you've seen it in the movies...it takes everything you have to not just
give up -&- die!?!
Your body fights you every step of the way -&- even though they give you something to help ease the pain - nothing even begins to touch the raw emotional pain that placed you in the situation to begin with!?!
The pain that you were trying to cover up with the drugs -&- alcohol in the first place - that pain becomes more real by the minute!?!
This is where it gets REAL - it is either do or die!?!

...check back later -&- I will get more in depth into my 28 day stay!?!


Today I am thankful for Prayer - because with it you can move mountains!?!

Monday, February 21, 2011

Happy Presidents Day!?!



*Disclaimer: This generalized Happy President's Day was in no way meant for the so-called person who has deceitfully -&- disgustingly been using that title for the past 2 plus year!?!

Today I am thankful for all the men who have been called to serve as President, those who have heeded the call -&- proceeded to do so in an honorable way!?!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

What a day...

Well, today I learned that when I have to - I can go 539 miles without using the restroom...that isn't something that I want to do everyday -but- I did learn when it has to be done...I can handle the pressure!?!
Today I am thankful that I was able to make it through this day -&- be a trooper which made it easier on my husband!?!

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Jar of Hearts...Christina Perri!?!


I heard this song for the first time today after it was brought to my attention
by a great friend!?!
After listening to it over -&- over again -&- then reading the lyrics
I found that I can really related to this song...it reminds me of someone I used to be involved with!?!

Take a listen -&- let me know what you think!?!





I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

And learn to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are
Dear, it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

Today I am thankful for Fabric Softener - cuz it makes everything smells better!?!

Friday, February 18, 2011

Remembering Dale


10 Years ago today in Daytona, FL the world lost a first class legend!?!
he was known to many as the Intimidator!?!
He was tops in his sport...he was loved by many
-&-
to this day he is missed dearly by his fans!?!

Dale Earnhart Sr.

You were taken away too soon - you are gone -but- not forgotten

To learn more about the man -&- his legend -&- his legacy please visit HERE!?!

Instead of telling you all about what happened
-&-
what effect it had on people...I just posted a few videos below!?!

CRASH



ANNOUNCEMENT




TRIBUTE



FAREWELL



DALE JR REMEMBERS HIS DAD







Today I am thankful for real life legends because they give the children of today someone to aspire after!?!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Nascar...Regan Smith #78


Nascar Season is upon us...and although most Sundays I am not able to watch the race - I do sometimes catch them on the XM radio
-but-
I always follow them closely online @ NASCAR!?!

And, if you are wondering who I am rooting for on those fun packed, action filled days...well, my driver is:

#78
Reagan Smith

You can learn more about him HERE!?!

Today I am thankful for the Stars in the sky...it is an awesome sight in the dark of night!?!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I0 Year Ago...Part II

The other day I began my story about what I was doing 10 Years ago today (2/11/01)...here is another chapter in that story!?!

How did I end up in a Rehab Facility all the way in Miami Shores, FL...that was a question I was often asked by people who knew after everything was done...the answer I gave them was - addiction doesn't care whom it controls...
it just takes hold of you until you no longer even know yourself!?!

Looking at me you wouldn't think I was your typical addict - you look at my home life
-&-
you'd be shocked to see where I came from
-but-
like the saying always goes looks can be deceiving!?!

And, now looking back I see where my addiction was set into a spiraling out of control by a bunch of personal losses in my life...
things I thought I couldn't handle on my own!?!
So instead of reaching down -&- finding my inner strength I instead turned to alcohol
-&-
drugs...
alcohol being my drug of choice for the most part!?!

My addiction to drinking didn't really begin till I was in my early 20's!?!
At that time I'd only drink on the weekends when I went out with friends...that is what I considered to be "social drinking'!?!
Then when I was 22 -&- living with a friend (who will be referred to as C) - I was working 2nd shift -&- would usually stop -&- grab a beer or two to have when I got home from work - this I considered "earned drinking"!?!
I worked hard all day so this what a treat!?!
By this time I was basically drinking every day of the week
-but-
for the most part I had it under control!?!

At that time I was what they called a "functioning drunk"!?!

This was the same pattern that I followed until is was about 25...although I wasn't living with C - we were having problems -&- ended our relationship!?!
That really tore me apart even more than I was aware!?!
I turned to drinking on my lunch break at work to ease even more of my pain!?!
I also turned to some other very scary behavior!?!

Also, that year there we A LOT of family issues with my parents -&- things I never thought I'd personally have to deal with!?!
And, I suffered the loss of a good friend!?!
None of these were reasons to drink -but- they were my reasons!?!

Then in January of 2001...I found myself at a place in my life I had never been before...I was drinking to sleep - doing other drugs to stay awake -&- then other drugs to even me out...it wasn't a good life -but- at the time I didn't feel any of it!?!

Then came that pivotal moment when I knew my lifestyle was interfering with work - they came to me -&- basically told me I had one more chance to get myself together or I was going to lose my job!?!

So that night after getting plastered yet again...I called a really good friend
-&-
asked them to come over to my apartment!?!
She did -&- had her newborn with her -
we sat on the floor -
talked -&- cried - it was then I made the call to enter Rehab!?!

Today I am thankful for the friend that came to me that night
I ♥ you Cyn!?!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Will Return Wednesday!?!

I have a lot of things I want to blog about...
including the continuation of my 10 Years Ago Today blog post!?!

But today things just got in the way - I couldn't find the right words
-&-
I just wasn't feeling it!?!
So, this is my blog for today!?!



Today I am thankful that I am able to sometimes take a break -&- regroup!?!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentines Day!?!




☆•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆ ★ ☆¸.•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆•°*”˜˜”*°•.¸☆ ★
╔╗╔╦══╦═╦═╦╗╔╗ (¯`v´¯)
║╚╝║══║═║═║╚╝║ `·.¸.·'VALENTINE'S DAY
║╔╗║╔╗║╔╣╔╩╗╔╝ ★ ¸.·´¸.·¨) ¸.·¨)
╚╝╚╩╝╚╩╝╚╝═╚╝ (¸.·´ (¸.·´ (¸.·¨¯`★

Today is a day that is supposedly based on all around LOVE - that is great in theory
-but-
in my opinion all it is...
is another day for the card
-&-
candy companies to guilt people into
spending money on needless crap that the person recieves it really doesn't want!?!

My feeling is this...there should never be just one day set aside to show someone that we love them...
we as people should do it everyday
-&-
not with gifts -but- with words -&- actions!?!
Because unfortunatley a day is going to come when you may not have that someone special to show how much you love them anymore!?!

And, no matter who you are, where are you are or who you love...
I hope you love hard, long -&- unconditionally!?!
I don't care whom you choose to love as long as they love you back they way you deserve to be loved!?!

Here is a great song about LOVE:




Here are the lyrics:

Je t'aime
Te amo
Ya ti-bya lyu blyu
Ani o hevet oth kha
I love you

The sounds are all as different
As the lands from which they came
And though our words are all unique
Our hearts are still the same

Love in any language
Straight from the heart
Pulls us all together
Never apart
And once we learn to speak it
All the world will hear
Love in any language
Fluently spoken here

We teach the young our differences
Yet look how we're the same
We love to laugh, to dream our dreams
We know the sting of pain

From Leningrad to Lexington
The farmer loves his land
And daddies all get misty-eyed
To give their daughter's hand

Oh maybe when we realize
Just how much there is to share
We'll find too much in common
To pretend it isn't there

Love in any language
Straight from the heart
Pulls us all together
Never apart
And once we learn to speak it
All the world will hear
Love in any language
Fluently spoken here

Though the rhetoric of government
May keep us worlds apart
There's no misinterpreting
The language of the heart

Love in any language
Straight from the heart
Pulls us all together
Never apart
And once we learn to speak it
All the world will hear
Love in any language
Fluently spoken here

Love in any language
Fluently spoken here(x5)

Today I am thankful for all the UNCONDITIONAL LOVE I have in my life...my family, my friends -but- most importantly my Lord!?!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

This is the day...


Today as we travel across Interstate 40...
in The Volunteer State (Tennessee)!?!
I look out the window
-&-
I am still truly amazed by all the beauty that God created
-&-
shared for our enjoyment!?!




Today I am thankful for the ever-so beautiful day that my God made!?!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Valentine Brownies!?!


Valentines is quickly approaching - Monday to be exact!?!

So here is a great treat you can bake for the ones that you love!?!


Glazed Heart Shaped Brownies

1 box (1 lb 2.4 oz) Original Supreme Premium brownie mix
Water, vegetable oil and egg called for on brownie mix box!?!

1 cup Rich & Creamy chocolate frosting (from 16 oz container)

Decorating Decors multicolored candy sprinkles or colored sugar


1. Heat oven to 350°F (325°F for dark or nonstick pan).
Line bottom and sides of 9-inch square pan with foil.
Grease bottom only of foil with shortening or cooking spray.
Make and bake brownie mix as directed on box.
Cool completely, about 1 1/2 hours.

2. Using foil to lift, remove brownie from pan; remove foil.
With deep 2 1/2-inch heart-shaped cookie cutter, cut 10 brownies.
Place brownie hearts on a cooling rack or waxed paper.

3. In microwavable bowl, microwave frosting uncovered on High 10 to 20 seconds.
Stir; frosting will be thick and spoon-able.
DO NOT BOIL.
Carefully spoon melted frosting over brownies to glaze, allowing excess to drip down sides. Sprinkle with candy sprinkles before frosting sets.

Makes 10 brownie hearts


Special Touch
Mix 3 tablespoons Rich & Creamy vanilla frosting and enough red food color to make pink frosting in a microwavable bowl.
Microwave on High 10 seconds.
Drizzle over chocolate-glazed hearts.

Today I am thankful for mmmmmm, brownies - oooooooey, goooooooey brownies!?!

Friday, February 11, 2011

10 Years Ago Today...!?!


10 Years Ago Today...!?!

10 Years ago today...
I was in one of the lowest possibles places in my life!?!
Even though I had a great job, wonderful friends -&- an amazing family...I let my love for drugs -&- alcohol bring me down
-&-
it brought me down hard!?!

10 Years ago today...
I landed in the Miami, FL airport in the middle of the night - plastered out of my mind -but- hoping that all would change!?!

10 years ago today...I entered REHAB!?!

I started my 28 Days - 10 years ago today!?!

In the next 28 day I relay some of the memories I have from that adventure, some of the lessons I learned from that experience, why I ended up there
-&-
where I am with my addictions today!?!



Today I am very thankful I am not in the same place in life that I was in 10 Years ago today!?!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Bananas Foster

While we were out to dinner this evening I decided to try something different for desert so I opted for the Bananas Foster!?!
I'd seen them cooked numerous times on TV
-&-
had always heard they were good - so I gave them a try!?!

I'll have to admit they are delicious - very rich
-but-
oh, so good!?!
I had mine with some Vanilla Bean ice cream
-&-
I enjoyed every bite!?!
And, I think I got a little buzz of them as well - lol!?!


So, if you want to try them at home - here ya go:


Ingredients

* 1 stick butter
* 1/2 cup brown sugar* 4 bananas peeled, halved, and cut lengthwise
* 1/4 cup dark rum

* Ice cream, optional

Directions


In a large skillet, melt butter.
Using a wooden spoon, add brown sugar and stir together.
Add the bananas and cook until caramelized on both sides, over medium-high heat.
Move pan off heat, add the rum and return to the stove to catch a flame from the gas stove
or a long lighter.
Stand back when ignited and flambe the bananas.
Be careful a flame will shoot up above the pan.
Let flame die down and the alcohol cook out.


Today I am thankful for all the different things in life that I able to experience!?!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Colorado Cold!?!

We spent the last few days in Colorado -&- as I was talking about it on
Facebook a friend of mine send me this poem!?!

It's winter in Colorado...

And the gentle breezes blow
Seventy miles... an hour
At nine or more below!?!

Oh, how I love Colorado
When the snow's up to your butt
You take a breath of winter
And your nose gets frozen shut!?!

Yes,
The weather here is wonderful
So I guess I'll hang around
I could never leave ColoradoAlign CenterCuz I'm frozen to the ground!?!


Today I am thankful that my husband -&- I were able to stay warm during this frigid weather!?!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

To Die For Carrot Cake!?!

Have you ever had a cake so good that you even dream about it?!?

Once you try this to die for Carrot Cake recipe - you will!?!

It easy to make -&- even easier to eat!?!


Ingredients
2 c sugar
1 1/4 c oil
4 large eggs
2 c flour
2 tsp baking soda
1 Tbsp Cinnamon
1 tsp Salt
3 c Grated Carrots
1 c Chopped Walnuts

FROSTING
12 oz Powdered Sugar
2 3 oz. Cream Cheese room temp
1 tsp Vanilla Extract
2 Tbsp Butter
2 Tbsp Milk

Extras: If you'd like you can also add the following items to the cake:
1 C Raisins
1 Can Pineapple (Drained)


Directions

1.In large bowl, beat sugar and oil. Add eggs and beat well.




2.Sift together flour, soda, cinnamon, and salt into egg mixture; mix well; fold in carrots and nuts.



3.Place batter in greased 9x13 pan; bake 1 hour and 10 miniutes in a 350 oven. (Check once because of oven variances)



4.FROSTING: Beat together powdered sugar, cream cheese, vanilla, butter and milk; spread on cooled carrot cake.




Today I am thankful for my love of baking - yum!?!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Press 1 For English!?!


Want to know how I feel - then I will tell you how I feel!?!

First of all why in the hell should I have to "Press 1 For English" - last time I looked around this was the United States of America
-&-
the native language here was ENGLISH!?!

Secondly, when it become our problem if people couldn't understand our language in our own country...that really isn't my fault!?!

Lastly, what pisses me off even more is even after being forced into pressing 1 to speak to someone who is suppose to speak English
half of the damn time - I can't understand a damn word they are saying!?!

What is your opinion on the subject?!?

Today I am thankful that I live in America even though it is under attack from inside the White House!?!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Happy Birthday President Reagan!?!


Happy Birthday to one of the most AMAZING Presidents ever!?!

The 40th President of the United States...

Ronald Happy Birthday to one of the most AMAZING Presidents ever!?!

The 40th President of the United States

Ronald Reagan

February 6, 1911 – June 5, 2004